Do you think anyone will notice?

I like David Gergen. He's been on TV a lot lately commenting on this year's presidential election. He always has an interesting and mature perspective of the candidates and the issues and his students at Harvard have a wonderfully insightful mentor. All that said, do you think anyone will notice he has a comb-over? Its seems strange that a man with high confidence in his political knowledge would not have the same confidence in his baldness.

Hey!, where did everybody go............?

I've noticed that GM is offering their employee discount to all their customers. Now that they hardly have any employees left and the new ones they hire don't make enough to buy new cars, they have to come up with enough sales to keep their plants running. I really doubt that the employees they have left are really members of the "working man's" car market. Sometimes you get what you ask for.....

The sign said.........

I went to Art Van furniture store over the weekend to pick up a few items to round out my living room. I was attracted to an area of the show room that had a baby grand piano. It wasn't the piano that got my attention but that a young man was there beautifully playing Mozart; I think it was piano sonata 17. He was good. 

Looking over his shoulder I could see a sign perched on the music stand that read, "DO NOT PLAY THE PIANO". I figured no one really minded, as half the sales staff was there watching the concert, like me. When he finished I said to him, "you play very well for someone that doesn't read"; trying for a light hearted complement. He got a little red in the face and said, "I love it so much I can't resist".

Philosophy

A dyslexic philosopher spends his time contemplating the existence of dog.

Wheels of Fortune

This is a Harley-Davidson VRSCDX NIGHT ROD® SPECIAL. The sales guy told me that for an extra $200, "you can buy a vowel".

Swimmers

Always inspired by the current Olympic competition, my group at work spends a little time each day discussing yesterday's outcomes. During one of the discussions about swimming, it was observed that most, if not all, world class swimmers are tall.

The tall one in our group is around 6' 6"; he's the one that dropped me off with the day care guys . Always interested in the lives of my colleagues I asked if he'd ever thought about swimming competitively. He said, "I think about it all the time". He went on to say that "it looks like a lot of work" and "I think about never, ever, doing anything that looks that painful......all the time".

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way...........

My mom had a family reunion yesterday at her house. All us kids were supposed to bring a dish to pass. Understanding my talents in the kitchen and lack of motivation on weekends, it was off to the local grocery store for professionally prepared picnic salads. They had a nice looking "Greek" style shell noodle salad. The counter lady let me taste a sample to close the deal on an order for three and a half pounds of feta cheese laden heaven.

While my salad was being skillfully scooped and weighed, a nice grandmotherly lady walked up to the counter. She was roughly the age of my own mother and had noticeably unsteady hands. Never missing an opportunity for conspicuousness and audacity, I started a conversation with this very friendly lady. "You've got to try this Greek noodle salad; it's delicious", I said. She asked if I was having a party and I told her that I was going to a back yard picnic but was too lazy to fix something at home.

Continuing my "routine" I said, "you must have experience with lazy men laying on the sofa around your house?" She admitted that perhaps she was familiar with that particilar situation. In the same breath she went on to say that she thought that maybe I would be a good husband.

Feeling a bit impish and never willing to pass up a vertual "slam dunk" I said, "are you looking for a husband?" "If you are", I went on, "then today is your lucky day because I just happen to already be a husband." Feeling somewhat self satisfied with my show of wit I was quite surprized to hear her response. She said, "I know you probably are a great husband, but please call me if you ever feel like being bad." She's lucky I wasn't drinking milk when she said that. I'm sure I would have sprayed the walls as it passed through my nose.

Totally Hot

Up until recently I've been suffering from "electile dysfunction"; you know, when you can't get excited about any of the candidates running for an office. That's all changed, now that Paris has thrown whatever that article of clothing is into the ring......yeah, her hat. Check out her ad; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1smT8obR0sU

Gymboree

Last week I went to my company's annual golf outing. After a very long round of 18 holes the teams came into the clubhouse for beverages and trash talk about the round. Since I am working on a project at the customer site, the only other company employees I know are the ones that work with me, off site.

I was making small talk with a thirty-ish colleague of mine, with whom I share a cubical at the customer location. I could tell he was a bit distracted when all of a sudden he said, "you've got to meet these guys". He was looking across the room and seemed excited to introduce me. I was happy to make some new acquaintances as that was the whole point of participating in the golf outing. So I followed him across the room.

There, he introduced me to Jim and Russ, a couple of salty looking cusses. They were friendly enough, but something didn't feel right. After exchanging our "how-do-you-dos" I turned to see my young friend walking away to join a different group of young, hipsters. Then it dawned on me.....I had just been dropped off at the day care center for old dudes.